10 things a manipulator hates
Recognizing a manipulator is far from easy, as these people have become masters in the art of lying, concealment, and, very often, in making their loved ones feel guilty. However, with a little observation, it’s possible to spot people with this type of behavior, and even beat them at their own game! To achieve this, the simplest approach is to know their weaknesses, namely the situations or behaviors that exacerbate them, so that you can recognize a manipulator and escape their clutches.
Losing control
If there’s one thing a manipulator hates, it’s losing control. Simply put, to feel good, a manipulative person has a pathological need to maintain control over the situation and the people around them. Seeing someone break free from the control they have over them is simply intolerable for a manipulator, because it means that they are no longer the center of attention, that they are being rejected, and that the person who was previously under their control is no longer dependent on them at all. Faced with this kind of situation, a manipulator may react more or less violently because they feel both vulnerable and humiliated. This can make them angry, drive them to seek revenge, or even lead them to play the victim to those around them.
Independent people
Demonstrating independence is also something that manipulators hate, simply because it means they can no longer control you.
Taking responsibility
Manipulators hate nothing more than feeling vulnerable and, in fact, admitting their mistakes by taking responsibility. This is even more true in intimate relationships. In this context, a manipulator will do everything in their power to push the other person to take all the blame in the event of an argument, for example. In other words, they will arrange for the other person to be held responsible for their own mistakes. The corollary of this state of affairs is that a manipulator will never hesitate to confront you with your responsibilities, whether real or invented by him.
People with self-confidence
One of the strengths of manipulators, and what makes their schemes work, is their ability to make their victims doubt themselves. This is much more difficult to do with someone who is self-confident.
To be refused something
Refusing something to a manipulator, telling them “no”, takes away their control and creates frustration in them. This situation is extremely uncomfortable for this type of person, who, as we mentioned, needs to control everything to feel good. Faced with a refusal, a manipulator will not hesitate to negotiate (to the point of becoming truly pushy), or even resort to threats or blackmail.
Happy people
Happy, fulfilled people are also among the things manipulators hate, simply because they remind them that they themselves are not happy. Furthermore, fulfilled people are more difficult to manipulate, since they generally have a good deal of self-confidence and don’t feel dependent on the approval of others. When faced with a visibly happy person, and even more so if it is one of their relatives, a manipulator will tend to try to demoralize them, make them feel guilty, isolate them socially, etc.
Not being considered a priority.
By nature, manipulative people are narcissistic and selfish. They feel entitled to everything, especially their priority status. If he feels he is not your priority, a manipulator may get angry, play the victim, and make you feel guilty.
Being alone
It’s not uncommon for a manipulator to also be emotionally dependent, meaning someone who needs the approval, attention, or simply the presence of others to feel good. In fact, many manipulators hate being alone, often because they are not at peace with themselves, because they feel empty, abandoned, or rejected. Thus, people who tend to manipulate those around them generally have extensive social networks, which are not always interconnected.
Having to justify oneself
Asking a manipulator to justify their actions or words is tantamount to questioning their authority, which, of course, irritates them to the highest degree. In this type of situation, a manipulator may react sharply, become defensive, and defend themselves by trying to make their interlocutor feel guilty, until the latter finally feels obliged to justify themselves.
To be confronted with clear limits
A manipulator needs to feel in control, to be sure that he or she has complete power over his or her victim, and this is, of course,n ot possible when clear limits are imposed on him or her. This situation can generate anger, aggression, etc., in other words, more or less violent and repeated conflicts until the limits are broken.
